20 years...and engagement rings

and still together.




My husband and I, we had yesterday our 20th anniversary. Since I had to work late because of my evening class, we postponed the "real celebration" to Saturday when we will see the theatre play "Rock'n Roll" by Tom Stoppard.

Fittingly to the topic marriage, I read today an article in our newspaper about legal issues concerning engagement rings. The article was about the question "who gets the ring if the wedding is canceled?" I found this article very interesting because I'm used to a different custom:

Men in Austria or Germany normally don't buy expensive diamond rings for the engagement. The custom is that the future husband and wife put at their engagement the wedding bands on, but on the left ring finger. A married couple wears the wedding band on the right finger.

Well, since things are different here and some men apparently spend a fortune for 'The Ring', the legal question seems appropriate.

The article explained that the regulations are state law. In Massachusetts and in many other states, if the wedding is canceled the ring has to be returned to the giver.

Like always, there are exceptions to the rule. The ex-fiancee may for example be able to keep the ring if the day of the proposal coincided with her birthday or Christmas. Then she can argue it was a personal gift.

Another exception could be extremely bad behavior of the former groom: Cheating or domestic abuse might give her the better cards for keeping the ring should it come to legal proceedings in court.